Fast Forward to 2025

Dear Me, Thank you for making it. I honestly didn't think I'd survive this long. I've been labelled a lot of things, hurtful things by my husband and it's not helping me mentally and emotionally. I am never enough in his eyes. What's sad about it is I believe every word he says. He makes me feel like I'm making his life miserable. I just wish that I can make him happy. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells again. My anxiety kicking in... feeling like I'm about to be abandoned by the person I love, but who doesn't love me. There are days I wished things to be different. How do I survive in this environment? Why is God testing me? Why do I feel such emotional pain inside of me? What is this for? Do I give up or do I hold on? Love isn't enough anymore. He doesn't love me. I need to learn how to love myself. I need to be strong for me and our child. My son has Autism Spectrum Disorder. It's been a challenge. I need to keep on living for my son. He's my only lifeline in this world. Without him, I might be suicidal again. Please help me Lord. Please help me bounce back. I am very grateful for the life you've given me, and I'm afraid that I'm just wasting it because of all this negative thinking. Please give me strength to fight on. Please give me strength to live and keep on going. I am very lucky to have my husband and child with me, alive and breathing. In spite of all the hardships and challenges, I pray that we'll get this through and pass this test. I love my family, I love God, I love life. Please make me strong for my family.