For the first time

For the first time in my life, I am blogging about life on a positive note. It is difficult to get out of the cycle and break the streak and habit when you've been blogging about negative things for 6 years. I can't imagine and believe that I had lived my life being so pessimistic about my own life and even hating myself over and over again. I am also truly sorry to God and myself for hating who I was at that time, and sometimes hating myself whenever I make a mistake or failure. I am also sorry Lord for all the times that I wished that I was dead, for asking you to end my life, I just realized now how important life is. I am very lucky because I was privileged to have a good, even a great life as compared to other people in terms of stability and such. Still, I realized also that I must not compare myself with other people and what they have that I don't because it will just make me envious of others and feel bad about myself, which I am changing now. It's time for a change. I am letting go of all the negative vibes in my life and choosing to look on the brighter side. I finally deleted the old depressing blog permanently, cleared all my cookies and starting fresh and new.

I am grateful for God, that he didn't stop believing in me, especially during the times when I felt down and was at the lowest point of my life. I am grateful for my parents, Ie, my siblings and my friends for never giving up on me, even if I was already so unreasonable before. I truly would like to stop this and be more independent. Last but not the least, I would like to thank myself for striving to be better and loving myself especially now that I feel that I am better than yesterday. Choosing to live in the now, not being haunted and bothered by the past, always aiming and thinking positive and that it will be a great day, and for starting this blog.

I might sound overly cheesy and dramatic but it's how I truly feel. I feel thankful that this is a step to something more wonderful and choosing to look at the good things in life and be grateful for life and God. <3 <3 <3